WHAT “WHOSO FINDETH A WIFE” REALLY MEANS
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
There are godly pre-ordained blessings and reasons as to why this scripture does NOT say, “Whoso findeth a “single woman” to make her a wife…”, or a “divorced” woman, “widowed”, woman, or “woman whose been married more than once”, so on and so on.
Because of a gross misinterpretation of this all to familiar scripture, so many single women are still waiting year after year to be found, so many married women think that they are already a “good thing” based solely on the fact that they are married, and so many divorced women have “disqualified” themselves from ever again being a “good thing” to be found.
Also, because of many passed down religious teachings and traditional thinking that many believe that it is after the man marries the woman that he makes her a wife. In the eyes of God, nothing could be further from the truth. A man may “take” a woman to be his wife, but it is GOD who “makes” a woman a wife. Semantics? No! Let’s look at another very familiar scripture.
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18),
It was the LORD GOD who said that is was not good that the man should be alone. And it was the LORD GOD who came up with the SOLUTION for this problem. He said, “I will make him an help meet for him”. When God created the woman, He created her to be a “help meet” for the man. Notice that he created “the woman” to be a “help meet”! A single woman is a “woman”. A married woman is still a “woman”. So is a woman who has been married more than once, still a “woman”. The divorced woman is still a “woman”, and so is a widow still a “woman”.
God did not limit the blessing of being a “help meet” or a “good thing” to only the single woman or a married woman. In His divine knowledge, God knew that there would be single, married, divorced, widowed women, and women in a state of marriage separation. God is Smart! He knew right from the beginning that there would be different types of marital status among His daughters to come. Acts 10:34 tells us that He is no respecter of persons (which also means not being prejudice about their marital status). So, how did He make it so that any of these women can enjoy the blessing of God to be a “good thing” regardless of their marital status? The answer is “the blessing” in the woman to be a good thing!
The power of God for a woman to be a “good thing” is not in the fact that she IS a woman. It is the power of God IN the woman, in every woman, that makes her “blessed” to be a “good thing”. This blessing to be a “good thing” is as much in the married woman, the divorced, and widowed woman as it is in the single woman. But it is not automatic! Being a woman does not “automatically” make you a “good thing”. Why? Because God also gave every woman the “will” and “right” to make a choice as to whether or not she wants to be a “good thing” to someone. God has empowered her with the “will” and the “blessing” to be a “good thing” when “she” makes that decision.
Even better, it is when the woman decides that she will be a “wife”, “help meet”, and “good thing” in service to GOD first, then, in ministry to the man that is (or is to be) her husband, that is when she is really and truly the kind of “WIFE” who is divinely worthy to be found!
Monday, February 27, 2012
VISUALLY ORIENTED
VISUALLY ORIENTED
Almost nothing can spoil going shopping together, a leisurely walk, or a night out for dinner quicker than a man who gets caught looking at another woman by the woman he is with. This is a very sensitive matter even for some of the strongest of women. It is a matter that is easily offensive and hardly forgiven.
I dated a young lady one time (a very short period of time) whom it seemed that I would need to hold her hand to keep her from running into the walls because her eyes were so focused on me, watching to see if I’m looking at other women as we walked. It was terrible. By the time we got to the restaurant I had completely loss my appetite. It wasn’t bad enough that she’d ask me, “What’s wrong with you?” She’d say things like, “Would you rather be sitting here with that woman that you were undressing with your eyes?”
God’s word has a lot to say about sight, vision, imagination, focus, what to look at, and what not to look at. As a man, I offer no excuse for myself or any other man for the trouble we can sometimes get ourselves into because of what we see, look at, and focus on. However, what I have come to detest, in my maturing age, is being stereotyped with other men who use such pitiful excuses like, “I’m only a man, I can’t help myself”. As if these excuses are good enough reasons to expect compassion and understanding from the woman in this matter.
I have learned that there is a difference between “looking” and “seeing”. You can’t help “seeing” but you can help “looking”. The difference is “focus”. In my experiences, I’ve never heard a woman complain about what a man “sees”. What she does complain about is when a man “looks” at other women, as in going beyond seeing to “focusing”. What is focusing? Focusing happens in those more than necessary extra seconds of attention given to another. Focusing is confirmed when you go beyond seeing with your eyes, but now your head is turning. Everything after that (whistling, panting, cat-calling, drooling, etc.) is just plain criminal!
Is there a cure? Yes! Contrary to the usual defenses such as, “I can’t help myself”, “I’m only a man”, “I just can’t go around with my eyes closed”, and “God gave me eyes to see with”; there IS a cure. It’s called, “honor” and “respect”.
I have now disciplined myself to “see” and not “look”. It’s hard, but worth the efforts. I make conscious efforts to honor and be thankful for the beauty and presence of the person with me, and I make myself sensitive to her feelings. Knowing that she may look at me to see if I’m going to look at the other, I beat her to the punch and look at her with a flirting smile on my face for her! I may even give her a spontaneous compliment, which seems to work well in disarming a bomb before it has a chance to go off. And, guess what? IT WORKS!
Almost nothing can spoil going shopping together, a leisurely walk, or a night out for dinner quicker than a man who gets caught looking at another woman by the woman he is with. This is a very sensitive matter even for some of the strongest of women. It is a matter that is easily offensive and hardly forgiven.
I dated a young lady one time (a very short period of time) whom it seemed that I would need to hold her hand to keep her from running into the walls because her eyes were so focused on me, watching to see if I’m looking at other women as we walked. It was terrible. By the time we got to the restaurant I had completely loss my appetite. It wasn’t bad enough that she’d ask me, “What’s wrong with you?” She’d say things like, “Would you rather be sitting here with that woman that you were undressing with your eyes?”
God’s word has a lot to say about sight, vision, imagination, focus, what to look at, and what not to look at. As a man, I offer no excuse for myself or any other man for the trouble we can sometimes get ourselves into because of what we see, look at, and focus on. However, what I have come to detest, in my maturing age, is being stereotyped with other men who use such pitiful excuses like, “I’m only a man, I can’t help myself”. As if these excuses are good enough reasons to expect compassion and understanding from the woman in this matter.
I have learned that there is a difference between “looking” and “seeing”. You can’t help “seeing” but you can help “looking”. The difference is “focus”. In my experiences, I’ve never heard a woman complain about what a man “sees”. What she does complain about is when a man “looks” at other women, as in going beyond seeing to “focusing”. What is focusing? Focusing happens in those more than necessary extra seconds of attention given to another. Focusing is confirmed when you go beyond seeing with your eyes, but now your head is turning. Everything after that (whistling, panting, cat-calling, drooling, etc.) is just plain criminal!
Is there a cure? Yes! Contrary to the usual defenses such as, “I can’t help myself”, “I’m only a man”, “I just can’t go around with my eyes closed”, and “God gave me eyes to see with”; there IS a cure. It’s called, “honor” and “respect”.
I have now disciplined myself to “see” and not “look”. It’s hard, but worth the efforts. I make conscious efforts to honor and be thankful for the beauty and presence of the person with me, and I make myself sensitive to her feelings. Knowing that she may look at me to see if I’m going to look at the other, I beat her to the punch and look at her with a flirting smile on my face for her! I may even give her a spontaneous compliment, which seems to work well in disarming a bomb before it has a chance to go off. And, guess what? IT WORKS!
THE REAL TARGET OF DIVORCE
THE REAL TARGET OF DIVORCE
I’d almost be willing to wager that the divorce rate between Christians, Believers, and Saints in the Church and around the world would at least be cut in half if they’d only understood and really discerned the devil’s real purpose in divorce.
As terrible as divorce is between a husband and wife, and as horrible as divorce can be on the children and throughout the family, people are not the primary target of the devil’s destructive weapon of divorce. Jesus said that the thief comes not but for to steal, kill, and to destroy. While destroying marriages, breaking up families, businesses, partnerships, ministries, and etc. are tragic casualties in the wake of assault against mankind, his real target is against what I have come to call, “God’s Genesis Dream”.
“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26-28).
Man, who turns to his wife and says, “Let us make a baby, have a family, and live happily ever after on the earth”, is not the originator of making a plan to have a family. The devil heard God’s plans to have a family, in a kingdom of heaven environment on earth. The devil saw God empower the man and the woman with the Blessing to carry out God’s Genesis Dream on the earth. And the devil saw God put the man and the woman together to create His own “Dream Team” of “husband and wife”, and called it “marriage”.
Too many people think that marriage is first about the man and the woman falling in love, creating their own family, and living out their dream on the earth. In the eyes of God, marriage is first about man, making God’s Genesis Dream his primary personal dream on the earth. For man to do this, man would have to know and make God’s purpose for marriage primary to his own personal purposes for marriage.
The devil does not want God’s Genesis Dream to be fulfilled on the earth. Neither does he want God’s “Dream Team” of husband and wife to operate in the power of the Blessing, or in the power of the heavenly ministry of marriage that God ordained for them on earth. He knows he can’t do anything directly against God to stop God’s dream. So, he assaults God indirectly by killing man, stealing dreams, and destroying marriages.
How would you respond to divorce, now knowing that it’s not primarily about you? Would you re-determine your marriage priorities? Would you give more of yourself to God to protect your spouse, marriage, and family? As a single desiring to get married, or a divorced person desiring to remarry, would you take a more serious attitude about guarding and protecting your marriage right from the very start?
God’s word in Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that “…a threefold cord is not quickly broken”. God, you and your spouse (or spouse to be) can make up a chord around your marriage that the devil cannot break as quickly and as easily as he thought he could before. God, you and your spouse (or spouse to be) qualify for the fulfillment of God’s promise and provision in Matthew 18: 18-20.
If you so desire it, you can have a marriage that is (or can be) a godly marriage. You can have a marriage that is truly blessed, blissful, and beautiful. You can let the world and the devil know that, “Divorce is not an option”.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Fended A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
I’d almost be willing to wager that the divorce rate between Christians, Believers, and Saints in the Church and around the world would at least be cut in half if they’d only understood and really discerned the devil’s real purpose in divorce.
As terrible as divorce is between a husband and wife, and as horrible as divorce can be on the children and throughout the family, people are not the primary target of the devil’s destructive weapon of divorce. Jesus said that the thief comes not but for to steal, kill, and to destroy. While destroying marriages, breaking up families, businesses, partnerships, ministries, and etc. are tragic casualties in the wake of assault against mankind, his real target is against what I have come to call, “God’s Genesis Dream”.
“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26-28).
Man, who turns to his wife and says, “Let us make a baby, have a family, and live happily ever after on the earth”, is not the originator of making a plan to have a family. The devil heard God’s plans to have a family, in a kingdom of heaven environment on earth. The devil saw God empower the man and the woman with the Blessing to carry out God’s Genesis Dream on the earth. And the devil saw God put the man and the woman together to create His own “Dream Team” of “husband and wife”, and called it “marriage”.
Too many people think that marriage is first about the man and the woman falling in love, creating their own family, and living out their dream on the earth. In the eyes of God, marriage is first about man, making God’s Genesis Dream his primary personal dream on the earth. For man to do this, man would have to know and make God’s purpose for marriage primary to his own personal purposes for marriage.
The devil does not want God’s Genesis Dream to be fulfilled on the earth. Neither does he want God’s “Dream Team” of husband and wife to operate in the power of the Blessing, or in the power of the heavenly ministry of marriage that God ordained for them on earth. He knows he can’t do anything directly against God to stop God’s dream. So, he assaults God indirectly by killing man, stealing dreams, and destroying marriages.
How would you respond to divorce, now knowing that it’s not primarily about you? Would you re-determine your marriage priorities? Would you give more of yourself to God to protect your spouse, marriage, and family? As a single desiring to get married, or a divorced person desiring to remarry, would you take a more serious attitude about guarding and protecting your marriage right from the very start?
God’s word in Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that “…a threefold cord is not quickly broken”. God, you and your spouse (or spouse to be) can make up a chord around your marriage that the devil cannot break as quickly and as easily as he thought he could before. God, you and your spouse (or spouse to be) qualify for the fulfillment of God’s promise and provision in Matthew 18: 18-20.
If you so desire it, you can have a marriage that is (or can be) a godly marriage. You can have a marriage that is truly blessed, blissful, and beautiful. You can let the world and the devil know that, “Divorce is not an option”.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Fended A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
QUALIFIED TO WRITE
QUALIFIED TO WRITE
There are times when I am asked if I’m married. Some ask in flirting. Some ask to understand where did I get such knowledge and information about my subject matter. At the time that I wrote the books, “What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means”, and “Knowing the God Spot in your Heart”, I was not married. Needless to say, I’ve gotten various kinds of questions and reactions.
I can understand and respect the need that most people have in which to put their trust only in someone who is a teacher, preacher, a licensed expect, someone with any number of degrees, even in celebrities who can really relate. My definition of someone who I’d consider “qualified” to help me is anyone who can give me answers and information that works. What better Person is there for me to go to about marriage and relationship matters than God, the Creator Himself?
Upon my discovery that God is far more willing to answer questions and to give wisdom, I went to God, not because I was an expert, but because I was not successful as I felt I could be in my relationship matters. It was obvious to me that I was no expert. It was also obvious to me that I was not as “qualified” or as knowledgeable in relationships with spiritual people as I may have thought myself to be. I had quickly learned that not all tricks and trades used in dating, relationships, and marriages in the natural world will work the same, if at all, in spiritual dating, relationships, and marriages. The mindsets between the two are totally different.
Rather than going to God under the pretense of being qualified, I went to God to get qualified. Somewhere I was missing it. And so were a whole lot of other people who I knew that wanted to get married (or to remarry). Most all-single people know the scripture, “He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). As much as we stood and stood on this scripture for a mate, it was just not working. I wanted to know “why”.
In His compassion, the LORD showed me many marvelous things about what this scripture, “whoso findeth a wife“—really means”. Not only did I become more “qualified” by God’s word and revelations to successful and happy in my own relationships, I was also blessed to be a blessing to others. I sought out to share with others what God shared with me. I still seek to share with more and more people in the Church and all over the world what God has shown me. IT WORKS!
How do I know it works? I have taken the time to find out how God has empowered Proverbs 18:22 to work. And I have seen it work for others. I’ve heard and collected testimony and testimony from people who have read and understood Proverbs 18:22 from perspectives that God have revealed to me.
By the way, at the time of this writing, I am so very blessed to have a very beautiful woman in my life that loves me very, very much. She’s read my books. She has gotten to know me through what she’s read in my books, and what she read in me. In fact, she’s such a believer in the things that God has given me to write; she has now become a self-appointed agent to help see to it that these books get out around the world.
Glory be to God!
There are times when I am asked if I’m married. Some ask in flirting. Some ask to understand where did I get such knowledge and information about my subject matter. At the time that I wrote the books, “What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means”, and “Knowing the God Spot in your Heart”, I was not married. Needless to say, I’ve gotten various kinds of questions and reactions.
I can understand and respect the need that most people have in which to put their trust only in someone who is a teacher, preacher, a licensed expect, someone with any number of degrees, even in celebrities who can really relate. My definition of someone who I’d consider “qualified” to help me is anyone who can give me answers and information that works. What better Person is there for me to go to about marriage and relationship matters than God, the Creator Himself?
Upon my discovery that God is far more willing to answer questions and to give wisdom, I went to God, not because I was an expert, but because I was not successful as I felt I could be in my relationship matters. It was obvious to me that I was no expert. It was also obvious to me that I was not as “qualified” or as knowledgeable in relationships with spiritual people as I may have thought myself to be. I had quickly learned that not all tricks and trades used in dating, relationships, and marriages in the natural world will work the same, if at all, in spiritual dating, relationships, and marriages. The mindsets between the two are totally different.
Rather than going to God under the pretense of being qualified, I went to God to get qualified. Somewhere I was missing it. And so were a whole lot of other people who I knew that wanted to get married (or to remarry). Most all-single people know the scripture, “He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). As much as we stood and stood on this scripture for a mate, it was just not working. I wanted to know “why”.
In His compassion, the LORD showed me many marvelous things about what this scripture, “whoso findeth a wife“—really means”. Not only did I become more “qualified” by God’s word and revelations to successful and happy in my own relationships, I was also blessed to be a blessing to others. I sought out to share with others what God shared with me. I still seek to share with more and more people in the Church and all over the world what God has shown me. IT WORKS!
How do I know it works? I have taken the time to find out how God has empowered Proverbs 18:22 to work. And I have seen it work for others. I’ve heard and collected testimony and testimony from people who have read and understood Proverbs 18:22 from perspectives that God have revealed to me.
By the way, at the time of this writing, I am so very blessed to have a very beautiful woman in my life that loves me very, very much. She’s read my books. She has gotten to know me through what she’s read in my books, and what she read in me. In fact, she’s such a believer in the things that God has given me to write; she has now become a self-appointed agent to help see to it that these books get out around the world.
Glory be to God!
A SPOUSE IN SERVICE TO GOD
A SPOUSE IN SERVICE TO GOD
Nothing is more abhorring than to see a good and godly woman being used, abused, neglected, rejected, and wasted on some idiot excuse of a man who willingly refuses to acknowledge and treat that woman as the gift and blessing that God made her to be.
Truth be told, it’s just about as abhorring to see a woman that allows and puts up with this kind of behavior, and mistreatment, for long periods of time, only to watch things grow worse and worse. Now that I think about it, there are good and godly men who go through this exact same thing with women. Why is this so? How is this so? There are people who knowingly go beyond extremes, who admit that they know better, who admit that it should stop, and even admit that it should have never gotten this far, yet, something inside them drives them to go on a little further, a little longer. What is this? What’s the cause? What’s the cure?
In many cases, the victims in these relationships and marriages share a common addiction the other persons’ acceptance and approval. Throughout past generations women were taught and raised to be good wives, serve their husbands, stick by the man and never leave them no matter what. Their place was in the home and for the home. The approval from what women did back then in the home and for the man was vital to their level of self-satisfaction and accomplishment.
Even as times has changed in today’s modern relationship mindset, the need for most women to feel approved and appreciated for her contributions towards a happy relationship has not changed (except maybe from her dependency on the man has forcibly turned into dependency on herself—what a tragedy). When the supply for acceptance, approval and appreciation from either party begins to wane and disappear, that feeling of “something is missing” begins to haunt and taunt that relationship or marriage. That feeling of something is missing becomes easily interpreted (or misinterpreted) as, “The thrill is gone”.
The answer? Get your priorities right! Get GOD into your ministry to that other significant one, and put serving God FIRST! THAT’S what’s really missing! When you put serving that other person before serving God, your priorities will be misplaced, and so will the true rewards and blessings of your love be misplaced.
The REAL blessings that make a woman a true “help meet” and a really “good thing” is when she has committed herself to FIRST be a wife IN SERVICE to God, THEN in ministry to the husband (or husband to be). From the giving of herself to first be a wife in service to God, then in ministry to the man, all the acceptance, approval, and appreciation she will ever need will come FIRST from God. Anything after that…is extra!
The man that has the godly sense to recognize, acknowledge, appreciate, and take good and godly care of the wife (or wife to be) that God has given to be a good thing and help meet to him, is a man who has truly found “The Favor of God”.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
Nothing is more abhorring than to see a good and godly woman being used, abused, neglected, rejected, and wasted on some idiot excuse of a man who willingly refuses to acknowledge and treat that woman as the gift and blessing that God made her to be.
Truth be told, it’s just about as abhorring to see a woman that allows and puts up with this kind of behavior, and mistreatment, for long periods of time, only to watch things grow worse and worse. Now that I think about it, there are good and godly men who go through this exact same thing with women. Why is this so? How is this so? There are people who knowingly go beyond extremes, who admit that they know better, who admit that it should stop, and even admit that it should have never gotten this far, yet, something inside them drives them to go on a little further, a little longer. What is this? What’s the cause? What’s the cure?
In many cases, the victims in these relationships and marriages share a common addiction the other persons’ acceptance and approval. Throughout past generations women were taught and raised to be good wives, serve their husbands, stick by the man and never leave them no matter what. Their place was in the home and for the home. The approval from what women did back then in the home and for the man was vital to their level of self-satisfaction and accomplishment.
Even as times has changed in today’s modern relationship mindset, the need for most women to feel approved and appreciated for her contributions towards a happy relationship has not changed (except maybe from her dependency on the man has forcibly turned into dependency on herself—what a tragedy). When the supply for acceptance, approval and appreciation from either party begins to wane and disappear, that feeling of “something is missing” begins to haunt and taunt that relationship or marriage. That feeling of something is missing becomes easily interpreted (or misinterpreted) as, “The thrill is gone”.
The answer? Get your priorities right! Get GOD into your ministry to that other significant one, and put serving God FIRST! THAT’S what’s really missing! When you put serving that other person before serving God, your priorities will be misplaced, and so will the true rewards and blessings of your love be misplaced.
The REAL blessings that make a woman a true “help meet” and a really “good thing” is when she has committed herself to FIRST be a wife IN SERVICE to God, THEN in ministry to the husband (or husband to be). From the giving of herself to first be a wife in service to God, then in ministry to the man, all the acceptance, approval, and appreciation she will ever need will come FIRST from God. Anything after that…is extra!
The man that has the godly sense to recognize, acknowledge, appreciate, and take good and godly care of the wife (or wife to be) that God has given to be a good thing and help meet to him, is a man who has truly found “The Favor of God”.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
LOOK IN CHURCH FOR A SPOUSE
LOOKING IN CHURCH FOR A SPOUSE
In the company of other Christians, male and female, I heard the question asked, “Should a person look for a spouse in the Church?” In my heart, I could not believe some of the answers that I heard to this question.
The one answer that shocked me the most was, “I don’t go to church to find a woman (or man). I go to church to find God.” What was so shocking is that people who are saved, spirit filled, and long-time members of churches gave this answer. I would more expect for a sinner who is seeking God to give this kind of answer, or a newly born-again baby Christian, but not a “seasoned saint”.
I guess that goes to show just how religious minded that we could sometimes still be. It would seem that the reason that a person who has been going to church for any reasonable amount of time is because he or she has already found and gotten to know God. Seeing this, it appears to me that the Church was be an excellent first choice as a good place to find a spouse, as opposed to a night club, strip joint, or some other no so godly place.
Even in my old “sinner days” when I was “looking for love in all the wrong places”, I knew that the Church was probably my best shot at finding a good woman to be my wife. Yet, I also remember being so hungry for heaven and so desperate to escape hell, that finding a wife was the furthest thing from my mind.
But once I did get saved and born-again, “GLORY BE TO GOD”! The scales fell off my eyes! I not only saw heaven in me, I saw heaven in all God’s creations. The people looked different. The Church looked different. The Pastor looked different. But most of all, the women in the Church looked very different, particularly from what I was accustomed to seeing.
My first thought was…(well, I had to pray about that first thought). But my second thought was, “Where the heck have I been all my life to have missed all this glory and genuine beauty?” The third thought was a revelation that I had answered my own question in the second thought.
The most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life to this day are the ones in Church. I acknowledge that there are beautiful women in the world. But the one kind of beauty that women in the Church have that women in the world do not have is the beauty of the glory of God on them and in them. And this kind of glory and beauty goes with them whether they are in, not in the Church, at work, at the store, or wherever!
In my opinion the best place to find a wife or husband is wherever God leads you. Period! But I also believe that so many saints have and will miss out on their blessing if they continue to go by this prideful and religious mindset of “I just go to Church to find God”. Not only is the Church an idea place to find a spouse, it can also be a very good place to find a variety of other of God’s many life changing blessings, ministries, businesses, and purpose.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
In the company of other Christians, male and female, I heard the question asked, “Should a person look for a spouse in the Church?” In my heart, I could not believe some of the answers that I heard to this question.
The one answer that shocked me the most was, “I don’t go to church to find a woman (or man). I go to church to find God.” What was so shocking is that people who are saved, spirit filled, and long-time members of churches gave this answer. I would more expect for a sinner who is seeking God to give this kind of answer, or a newly born-again baby Christian, but not a “seasoned saint”.
I guess that goes to show just how religious minded that we could sometimes still be. It would seem that the reason that a person who has been going to church for any reasonable amount of time is because he or she has already found and gotten to know God. Seeing this, it appears to me that the Church was be an excellent first choice as a good place to find a spouse, as opposed to a night club, strip joint, or some other no so godly place.
Even in my old “sinner days” when I was “looking for love in all the wrong places”, I knew that the Church was probably my best shot at finding a good woman to be my wife. Yet, I also remember being so hungry for heaven and so desperate to escape hell, that finding a wife was the furthest thing from my mind.
But once I did get saved and born-again, “GLORY BE TO GOD”! The scales fell off my eyes! I not only saw heaven in me, I saw heaven in all God’s creations. The people looked different. The Church looked different. The Pastor looked different. But most of all, the women in the Church looked very different, particularly from what I was accustomed to seeing.
My first thought was…(well, I had to pray about that first thought). But my second thought was, “Where the heck have I been all my life to have missed all this glory and genuine beauty?” The third thought was a revelation that I had answered my own question in the second thought.
The most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life to this day are the ones in Church. I acknowledge that there are beautiful women in the world. But the one kind of beauty that women in the Church have that women in the world do not have is the beauty of the glory of God on them and in them. And this kind of glory and beauty goes with them whether they are in, not in the Church, at work, at the store, or wherever!
In my opinion the best place to find a wife or husband is wherever God leads you. Period! But I also believe that so many saints have and will miss out on their blessing if they continue to go by this prideful and religious mindset of “I just go to Church to find God”. Not only is the Church an idea place to find a spouse, it can also be a very good place to find a variety of other of God’s many life changing blessings, ministries, businesses, and purpose.
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
SHOULD A WOMAN PURSUE A MAN
SHOULD A WOMAN CHASE AFTER A MAN?
Should a woman chase or pursue a man in dating? First of all, we should define and use the right terms. Is a woman chasing after a man simply because she smiles? Is she pursuing a man just because she shows herself to be friendly? Is she throwing herself on a man just because she may initiate or engage in conversation with the man?
Why are we sometimes so quick to judge and condemn when most times we don’t know the whole story? How is it that we can sometimes be so narrow-minded when God is so openhearted? How much more kindness could we show if, instead of condemnation, we showed consideration by using more appropriate terminology for the situation. Instead of the assassination of her character by saying that she’s chasing, pursuing, or throwing herself on a man, maybe we’d see more innocence if we could see how she “presents” herself to a man.
There are bible ways that a woman can present herself (or be presented) to a man without the appearance of chasing, pursuing, or throwing herself on the man. I thank God that He is a God of variety. He’s not “stuck” on doing all things according to religion or tradition. In fact, Jesus said that it is because of religion and tradition that so many make the word and power of God of no effect (Mark 7:13).
I understand and respect the accepted tradition that the man should go after the woman. Whatever works for you, FINE! But I’m also glad that the bible shows us that God is a little more “open” to other harmless, innocent, and even “divine” ways of putting together a man and a woman according to His divine knowledge and purposes for our lives and ministries. In Genesis 2:18, God said,
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18),
God foresaw man’s need for a woman, and HE did something about it. He did not wait for the man to fix the problem; HE did something about. He created the woman, and HE, GOD presented the woman to the man.
“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:21-22).
The very first “hook up” (as we say in today’s dating terms) was God presenting the woman to the man. Notice that is was GOD who brought the woman to the man. He did not wait for the man to find the woman. He did not hide the woman in the Garden for the man to search out and discover. In another incident, Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac (Genesis 24). We see in the book of Ruth, that two women worked together to get Ruth married.
As I look back in my own life, I thank God that a particular woman was bold enough to “flirt” with me. She was one of those “High School Queens” that a shy and timid person like myself could only fantasize about dating her. Years later, she saw me, approached me and initiated conversation with me. I matured a lot since high school, but I was still shy and timid (to put it mildly). Looking by hindsight, if she had not have presented herself to me, I would have missed out on what was absolutely the “greatest” love and romance of my life (to that point). Thank God for His “open mindedness”!
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
Should a woman chase or pursue a man in dating? First of all, we should define and use the right terms. Is a woman chasing after a man simply because she smiles? Is she pursuing a man just because she shows herself to be friendly? Is she throwing herself on a man just because she may initiate or engage in conversation with the man?
Why are we sometimes so quick to judge and condemn when most times we don’t know the whole story? How is it that we can sometimes be so narrow-minded when God is so openhearted? How much more kindness could we show if, instead of condemnation, we showed consideration by using more appropriate terminology for the situation. Instead of the assassination of her character by saying that she’s chasing, pursuing, or throwing herself on a man, maybe we’d see more innocence if we could see how she “presents” herself to a man.
There are bible ways that a woman can present herself (or be presented) to a man without the appearance of chasing, pursuing, or throwing herself on the man. I thank God that He is a God of variety. He’s not “stuck” on doing all things according to religion or tradition. In fact, Jesus said that it is because of religion and tradition that so many make the word and power of God of no effect (Mark 7:13).
I understand and respect the accepted tradition that the man should go after the woman. Whatever works for you, FINE! But I’m also glad that the bible shows us that God is a little more “open” to other harmless, innocent, and even “divine” ways of putting together a man and a woman according to His divine knowledge and purposes for our lives and ministries. In Genesis 2:18, God said,
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18),
God foresaw man’s need for a woman, and HE did something about it. He did not wait for the man to fix the problem; HE did something about. He created the woman, and HE, GOD presented the woman to the man.
“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:21-22).
The very first “hook up” (as we say in today’s dating terms) was God presenting the woman to the man. Notice that is was GOD who brought the woman to the man. He did not wait for the man to find the woman. He did not hide the woman in the Garden for the man to search out and discover. In another incident, Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac (Genesis 24). We see in the book of Ruth, that two women worked together to get Ruth married.
As I look back in my own life, I thank God that a particular woman was bold enough to “flirt” with me. She was one of those “High School Queens” that a shy and timid person like myself could only fantasize about dating her. Years later, she saw me, approached me and initiated conversation with me. I matured a lot since high school, but I was still shy and timid (to put it mildly). Looking by hindsight, if she had not have presented herself to me, I would have missed out on what was absolutely the “greatest” love and romance of my life (to that point). Thank God for His “open mindedness”!
Courtesy of Cliffton Hubbard, Author of:
What Whoso Findeth A Wife Really Means
www.whosofindethawife.com
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